2024 NFL THRILLS AND CHILLS, PART 1
By Charlie Livingston
Here’s a brief summary of the highlights and lowlights of Strat-O-Matic’s new football ratings:
ARIZONA
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Great run wrong team led by HB Connor (48 SG chances, YAC A) QB Kyler max FP with +5 on INT; 25 SG+ on ER. TE McBride max FP/SP. HB Benson 37 SG in limited work
Oh No! Rookie WR Marv Jr only pass catcher with LGs. No 6s to block stellar running game (2 0s on the line)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! FS Baker (65) and SS Thompson (55) accompanied by team leading 8 pass rush LOLB Collins (46) lead this AVERAGE pass D
Oh No! Good luck stopping anyone with this POOR run D. SGs everywhere! 4 starting 0s
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KO TD, PK Ryland solid (2-8 11,12 on 58yd FG)
Oh No! XP miss; poor KO coverage
ATLANTA
Offense:
Oh Yeah! WR London max SP/LP. HB Bijan a solid volume back (34 SG, YAC A, no fumble on wrong). No REC QB Fumble. 7 rated RT and LG
Oh No! But who’s running the offense? QB Cousins weak – with very high INT; poor SP/LP leaves much to be desired. No big plays on this offense
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Secondary solid (LC 5, SS 65, RC 5). That’s about it…
Oh No! You won’t be stopping anyone with this VERY POOR pass D. No incompletions on SP and a LG on #4. Weak pass rush
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! P Pinion star of this ST (2-6 50+ with no block)
Oh No! Bland Return game; PK Koo 2-7 from 23 and beyond
CAROLINA
Offense:
Oh Yeah! HB Hubbard the lone bright spot (31 SG+ chances) QB Bryce Young has a workable card with room for growth. 0 REC QB fumble and a surprisingly stellar OL (7,5,5,5,5)
Oh No! Big RB fumbles (2-5 12 on Right). WRs and TE’s are slow and have great difficulty hauling anything in
Defense:
Oh Yeah! 10 pass rusher Clowney, LP 1 man card shows signs of life
Oh No! What a mess! SG’s everywhere on this POOR run D. Offenses will move the ball as they please. 6 starting 0s cannot help resuscitate these dreadful D cards
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Low 17 Touchback chance complimented by good KO coverage (+22, +19, +14)
Oh No! Blocked punt: XP miss #11, average return game
CHICAGO
Offense:
Oh Yeah! QB Caleb Williams had to run for his life last season (15 SG on ER, solid MR). WR DJ Moore consistent as usual (Max SP/LP). HB Swift YAC A who catches LP
Oh No! #1 Pick Caleb in desperate need of protection! Oline sports a 4,2,0,2,4 with a Rec QB Fumble 1-4. Rough running game; 0 SG on any HB. WR Odunze and the TE’s don’t provide much
Defense:
Oh Yeah! D can force fumbles. LE 5 Sweat (pass rush 9) accompanied by RT 4 Dexter (8) on the other side. While “Average”, pass cards are good. SP 1-man lone completion on #4. Johnson LC 6
Oh No! If that fumble isn’t rolled, rushing yards will be had. LLB, RLB, and RC all 0s against the pass
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! 2nd PR Blackwell TD on #4; P Taylor superb w/ +50 on 7 and no block. Effective return game
Oh No! PK Santos 2-8, 12 from 23 – Minor Blemish on an otherwise productive ST
DALLAS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Not the Dallas offense we’ve come to expect. WR Lamb a bright spot (max FP/LP, DT catches). HB Dowdle solid too (39 SG chances; YAC B). TE Ferguson max FP. Both Guards are 7s
Oh No! Dak has a serious INT problem. Trouble on the blind side: LT Guyton a 3 pass 0 run. REC QB fumble 1-4
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Versatile Parsons RE/OLB 64 with a (3*) 12. LC and RC both 5s
Oh No! Poor D sports 6 starting 0s. Yards everywhere
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PK Aubrey has a leg! 2-9 from 65 and 0 miss XP. Both KR’s have TDs on #2 along with a PR TD. P Anger with a boot; +51 on 7 and no block
Oh No! +16 on #7 PR coverage
DETROIT
Offense:
Oh Yeah! The league’s leading offense won’t have trouble punching it in; QB Goff leads the charge with an elite FP and 15 SP Right and 21 Wrong chances. Three 6 Run Blockers pave the way for the dynamic duo of HB Gibbs (45 SG, 13 20+, YAC A, elite FP) and HB Monty (37 SG chances). Not to mention the pass catchers; WR St Brown (max FP/SP, DT), WR Williams with max LP and LGs everywhere. TE Laporta is solid too
Oh No! LG Glasgow a 2 Pass Block
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Good to Excellent Run D forces fumbles and limits yards. LE Smith with a 10-pass rush. Safeties are both 66
Oh No! Grab your umbrella cause it’s raining deep balls! Only LP incompletion is on #12 with 0 men. 1 man isn’t much better (+31 #4, +30 #5)
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! On the rare occasion this team fails to score; P Fox with one of the better Punting cards in recent memory (2-9 50+, no block). PR Raymond with a TD
Oh No! Missed XP on #11. Poor KO coverage
GREEN BAY
Offense:
Oh Yeah! QB Jordan Love consistent across all levels (19 SP and 12 LP wrong). Team was carried by workhorse HB Jacobs (34 SG+, gets the tough yards). Oft injured WR Watson (8LG SP wrong) and WR Reed (max LP) are explosive. TE Kraft breaks out (YAC A, LG’s)
Oh No! Love has trouble with picks (#10 across). Two 0 run blockers
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Excellent Run D forces fumbles (2-8 11,12 OT 1-man) while limiting yards. RE Gary a 6 with a 9 rush
Oh No! Yards to be had on this Average to Good Short Pass (Incompletions on #5 and #12). Otherwise, nothing to knock on this productive D
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! The rare Perfect XP; McManus 2-8 11,12 from deep
Oh No! LG on PR coverage #12
LOS ANGELES – NFC
Offense:
Oh Yeah! QB Stafford’s 19 SP wrong is a highlight; WR Puka Max FP/SP. LT, RT both 7s
Oh No! Slow and steady HB Kyren’s 22 SG+ may not be enough to keep defenses honest. WR Kupp is a shell of his former self
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Good pass rush; ROLB Young (1*) 12, a 9 and an 8 on the line
Oh No! AVERAGE run D gives up yards; low fumbles. Entire secondary of 4s can’t help weak Pass D
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PK Karty 2-8 12 from 58
Oh No! Blocked Punt; XP miss on #11, #12
MINNESOTA
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Sam Darnold finally shows his worth (13/21 SP, 13 LP wrong) and leads this Vikings team to a breakout season; HB Aaron Jones (Catches Long, YAC A). WR Jefferson is a star (max Catches, DT’s, LGs throughout). WR Jordan Addison (max LP)
Oh No! Get the ball out quick! C Bradbury a 0 Pass block, LG Brandel a 2. RB’s put the ball on the ground (2-6 fumble on right)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! This ferocious 3-4 D will make life difficult for opposing offenses; Excellent run D limits yards, High INT (2-9 LP 1 man). Will devour opposing QB’s; Van Ginkel LOLB 64 and Greenard ROLB 45 both (1*) 12 who can play RE/LE
Oh No! If rush comes up short…. Average Pass D gives up chunk plays (+31 on #5 LP, LG on #11 SP)
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PK Reichard (2-8 12 from 58), Solid Punt coverage (+6, +4, +3)
Oh No! Blocked punt, weak return game
NEW ORLEANS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Injury plagued season still yields value; QB Carr solid (21 SP Wrong 13 LP). With a combined 69 LGs across these two speedsters: WR Shaheed (Max LP) and WR Scantling can burn you deep. HB Kamara a pass catching threat (Catches LP, YAC A)
Oh No! Disastrous WR/QB fumble 1-5. WR Olave cannot overcome his injury woes; not enough juice on the ground to keep defenses honest
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Pass D limits yards (Only completion on SP 1-man #4 roll).
Oh No! Cannot stop the run! POOR run D gets gashed; no fumble. Weak D Ratings all around
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PR TD on #4. Consistent PK Grupe 2-8 12 from 57
Oh No! Missed XP on #11
NEW YORK GIANTS
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Rookie WR Nabers (Max FP/SP) and HB Tracy (4 20+ chances ER, YAC B) show flashes of a functional offense. 93 catch WR Wan’Dale (Max FP). Eluemunor LT 7
Oh No! QB carousel a mess; Poor run blocking (5,4,4,0,0)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Pile up those sacks! Burns (3*) 12, Ojulari 11 as a backup. Lawrence a 3-4 dream (NT 6, 10 pass rush)
Oh No! Everything else…. Poor D gives up yards; 10/11 starters are a 4 or less
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KR TD on #2 (2nd back). Gano 2-8 from deep
Oh No! KR/PR coverage very weak (PR LG #12, KR +44, +45, +39)
PHILADELPHIA
Offense:
Oh Yeah! The SB champs picked a lane and RAN with it; starting with the boys up front (6,4,6,6,6). 2K rusher Barkley with one of the best cards in years (LG #2 and SG #4 across on Right, 26 chances of 20+, catches long). QB Hurts 18 MR chances. When not calling run; WR Brown (Max SP/LP), WR Smith (max SP)
Oh No! Hurts struggles pushing the ball downfield (8/15 SP, 2/9 LP). RG and C 2s against the pass
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Eagles D soars with Good to Excellent run stopping, high fumbles (2-8 11,12 OT 2-men), stellar secondary (LC 5, SS 64, RC 5, FS 55), and good pass rush; Sweat LOLB (1*) 12
Oh No! NT Davis (4 with a 1 pass rush)
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PK Elliot a sure thing (2-10 through 49)
Oh No! But can’t kick deep (2-4 from 50+) Blocked Punt, KO coverage (+39, +38, +36)
SAN FRANCISCO
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Purdy can sling it (19 SP wrong ,15 LP), HB Mason (38 SG+), FL Jennings (max SP). TE Kittle is an absolute monster (max FP/SP, DT’s, FP wrong has 25+ chances of 10+ yards, YAC A). Trent Williams 76
Oh No! We’ve found their Achilles heel! McCaffrey not usable as a runner
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Pass rush still a factor; (1*) 12 Bosa (RE6), an 11 and 7 on the line. LBs Winters and Warner both 6s
Oh No! No longer elite; AVERAGE to POOR run D gives up significant yardage. LE and LT both 0s. The trifecta: RLB Campbell is a 0 rush 00 in coverage. Low fumbles
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! KO specialist Deebo Samuel rips off some chunk yards
Oh No! Blocked punt. Poor KO and Punt coverage
SEATTLE
Offense:
Oh Yeah! QB Geno Smith’s pinpoint accuracy (max FP including INT +4 on wrong) and a solid MR (+14 on #6). WR JSN hits the century mark in receptions and is rewarded with max FP/SP, WR DK (max LP, LGs).
Oh No! Geno’s arm will tire cause’ tandem of Charbonnet and Walker are running in quicksand! 13 SG chances between the two….
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Williams RE 6 w/ 11 rush. Witherspoon shutdown RC 6
Oh No! AVERAGE run/pass D gives up yards; low fumbles
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! P Dickson +50 on #8, KR Shenault TD #2,
Oh No! PK Meyers missed XP #11,12, KO coverage woes (LG #12)
TAMPA BAY
Offense:
Oh Yeah! QB Baker excels as a flat passer with hints of greatness further down the field (19 SP and 11 LP Wrong) He’s helped out by WR Mike Evans who is elite as usual (max SP/LP with DT catches). Rookie breakout HB Bucky Irving piles up some significant right yardage; 31 SG+ chances, along with a YAC A to round out his versatile skillset
Oh No! Bakers INT (2-11 #10 LP Right)
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Excellent run D with high fumbles and low rushing yardage. 8,7,6 pass rushers on the line
Oh No! Very Poor pass D will be a funnel for SP. 7 starting 0s won’t help in limiting the barrage
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! PK McLaughlin 2-10 23 to 32
Oh No! LG on PR #12,
WASHINGTON
Offense:
Oh Yeah! Alert! Theres a new franchise QB in town; Jayden Daniels excels at all levels (Max FP, 17 MR chances on SP/LP, 11 completion chances wrong LP) WR McLaurin (max SP w/ DTs) HB Robinson 30 SG
Oh No! No 6 run blockers, limited receiving options outside of Scary Terry
Defense:
Oh Yeah! Average to Poor against the Pass and Run is misleading; this D can win with the lead. Ferocious pass rush led by LLB Fowler (7*) 12 and RLB Luvu (3*) 12 along with a 6,6,5,8 rush on the line. Solid fumbles
Oh No! Nobody higher than a 4 in pass coverage. Heavy yardage on the run columns
Special Teams:
Oh Yeah! Good punt coverage (+3, +2, +6)
Oh No! Divisional Doink PK Gonzalez with a weak 2-4 11,12 from deep. LG on KO coverage #12
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