2017 NFL Thrills and Chills, Part 2

2017 NFL Thrills and Chills, Part II

By Glenn Guzzo

            Here’s a brief summary of the highlights and lowlights of Strat-O-Matic’s new football ratings:



Oh Yeah!        LT, LG are 7-rated pass blockers … RB Collins: 32 chances SG or better

Oh No!            Say it ain’t so, Joe: Flacco’s flaccid passing … Missing Yanda: 0 run blockers at both G


Oh Yeah!        6s at RE, FS and four 5s, plus big-time pass rush from OLBs Suggs, Judon

Oh No!            A 0 and four 4s in back seven’s coverage

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        PR TD and 87-yd KOR … superb KO coverage … Tucker: FG good 2-6, 11, 12 from 50-57 yds

Oh No!            blocked punt



Oh Yeah!        RB McCoy: long gain on OT and ER

Oh No!            Keep your friends close: No long gain on any receiver card … Pass block 2 and 3 at tackles (with a 0 run block at RT)


Oh Yeah!        RE Hughes (6) … a 6 (SS Hyde) and three 5s in the secondary

Oh No!            Sad sacks: Nobody higher than 5 on pass rush … 0s in coverage at both OLB

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        Strong punting + superb coverage … Hauschka: FG good 2-7, 12 from 50-56 yds

Oh No!            Walk, don’t run: longest KO return is 29 yds



Oh Yeah!        Enviable Green: WR w/max FP, SP + 2-tmd catches and both +77, +70 in LP … LG Boling (7,5)

Oh No!            Boling only reliable OL (two 0 run blockers; 2 and 3 pass blockers)


Oh Yeah!        RT Atkins (6 w/10 pass rush)

Oh No!            Two 0s, seven 4s in starting lineup

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        For Cinci, let’s just make this “Oh Yeah?”

Oh No!            blocked punt, missed XP on 11 and long gain on punt coverage



Oh Yeah!        WR Gordon: max LP catches … LG Bitonio (7,5)

Oh No!            Whose side are they on? Foes catch more than Browns when Kizer throws deep Right … LT (0,0), RT (3,0)


Oh Yeah!        Three 5s on DL

Oh No!            No 5s or 6s in back seven … rookie FS Peppers has ratings like us (00)

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        Um, let’s see – missed XP only on 12; no long gain on bad punt coverage

Oh No!            blocked punt … long gain on KO coverage



Oh Yeah!        WR Thomas: Max FP/SP catches

Oh No!            LP won’t be a good call ever: Longest WR catch: +40 … RT (2), LG (3) can’t protect three shaky QBs from themselves.


Oh Yeah!        LOLB Von Miller (6 vs run, * sacker) … a 6 (LCB Talib) and 5 at the corners (a 5 at nickel back, too) and 5s at all three DL spots

Oh No!            LB and safety coverage: Three 0s, three 4s

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        McManus FG good 2-6 from 50-54 yds

Oh No!            blocked punt … long gains on both kickoff/punt coverages



Oh Yeah!        Max catches at all depths +2-tmd catches: THAT’s an All-Pro – WR Hopkins … Throwing, running QB Watson can be the bomb – when INTs don’t blow up in his face

Oh No!            Traitor LT Clark (2,0) in pitiful OL that tops out at LG (4,4)


Oh Yeah!        ROLB Clowney (6 vs run and * pass rush)

Oh No!            No J.J. Watt; instead: a 0 at RE (with a 2 pass rush); 0s at RCB, SS in Very Poor pass D

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        Fuller’s exciting punt returns    Big-time punter Lechler (still 44 yds at #10)

Oh No!            Lechler out-kicked his coverage (+19/17/13) … XP miss at 11-12



Oh Yeah!        Max catches: WR Hilton LP, TE Doyle FP … LT Castonzo (5,6)

Oh No!            Jail break! Pass block 3-0-2-2 from RT to LG (with 0 run blockers at both G) … Cry if you want to over RB Gore


Oh Yeah!        6s at LE, NT

Oh No!            LBs in coverage: three 0s and a 4; secondary: a 0 and two 4s

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        Kickoffs: 31 deep kicks + fab coverage … Great punt coverage, too

Oh No!            blocked punt, XP miss on 11-12



Oh Yeah!        Fournette: +90 OT, long gain ER … Pass blocking: Three 7s, three 5s

Oh No!            Don’t get behind: This offense will have a very tough time guessed Right


Oh Yeah!        Sacksonville: Two asterisk pass rushers outside, a 10 at LT and a 10 sub … 6s at both CB … eight 6s and 5s in all, led by RE Campbell (6 w/* pass rush)

Oh No!            RT Jones (a 4 with 3 pass rush) is as bad as it gets on this superior D

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        PR TD

Oh No!            blocked punt … XP miss 11-12 … long gain on KO coverage



Oh Yeah!        Good hands people: Breakaway RB Hunt (long gain on ER #10), explosive TE Kelce (max FP/SP, almost max LP+ 2-tmd catches) and WR Hill (max LP and 28 chances across card of long gain or better), career-best QB Smith … RT Schwartz (7,6)

Oh No!            0 run block at C


Oh Yeah!        Coverage 6s at LCB (Peters), RILB (Johnson); * pass rush at LOLB (Houston)

Oh No!            0s at RCB, FS; practically non-existent pass rush on DL and at ILB

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        PR TD … best combo of XP, FG, KO, punt, and both coverages in set

Oh No!            -5 penalty differential



Oh Yeah!        Rivers’ best deep-passing card in set … He can do it w/little risk behind pass block 7s at RT, RG, C, LT … WR Allen: max FP, SP + 2-tmd catches

Oh No!            OL will not help ground running game: All 0s and 4s


Oh Yeah!        LCB Hayward (6) leads a secondary with three 5s … sacks without blizting: DE’s Bosa (*), RE Ingram (11) – they are 5s vs. the run, too

Oh No!            Shaky LB crew without a 5 vs. the run, pass or pass rush anywhere

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        PR TD … Kaser’s punting (still 50 yds at #7, 43 yds at #10) + strong coverage

Oh No!            Wide left: XP miss 10-11; FG good only 2-4, 11, 12 from 40-49 yds



Oh Yeah!        RB Drake’s getaway card (esp. long gain at #11 ER, +66 OT) … WR Landry max FP/SP catches … 7 pass block at C, RT

Oh No!            Drake will get it on his own behind this wall of china (that’s a lower-case “c”): 0 run blockers at TE, RG, LG, LT


Oh Yeah!        LT Suh (6); pass-rushing LE Wake (*)

Oh No!            In back seven’s coverage,  resistance is futile (three 0s, four 4s)

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        Fine KO, punt coverage

Oh No!            XP miss 11-12



Oh Yeah!        Brady: most SP completions Right; most LP completions Wrong … throw w/confidence: Two 7s, three 5s for pass block … The Gronk is a scary sight w/2-tmd catches, BIG yards … Run, too, w/Lewis (31 chances SG or better across card) behind tow 6s (Gronk again), three 5s

Oh No!


Oh Yeah!        RCB Gilmore, 5s at both safeties

Oh No!            In this 4-3, DL pass rush rates are 6-2-2-1, with no 6 run stuffers

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        KR TD … superb KO, punt coverage

Oh No!            Only 20 deep-kickoff chances, but that was strategy (see coverage above)



Oh Yeah!        Max catches: WR Anderson LP, TE Sefarian-Jenkins FP … RB Powell: long gain on LB #10, +75 on OT #12

Oh No!            OL can’t pass block inside or run block outside (0 at both OT)


Oh Yeah!        RILB Davis (56 w/8 pass rush)

Oh No!            Three 0s and a 4 in the secondary

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        Strong punting (70 long, still 41 yds at #10) … excellent KO coverage

Oh No!            long gain on punt coverage



Oh Yeah!        OL w/three 7-rated pass blockers and a 6 and three 5s for run block

Oh No!            Oops! – automatic RB fumbles Right … RT Newhouse (2,0) STILL can’t block


Oh Yeah!        LE Mack (a 6 w/11 pass rush, RLB Irvin (* pass rush)

Oh No!            In coverage, 0s at FS, SS, LCB, LLB


Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        30 deep-kickoff chances and superb coverage … strong punting (still 42 yds at #10) and coverage (+6/2/3)

Oh No!            Cowardly punt returns



Oh Yeah!        THREE 7,6 blockers at RG, C, LT … TWO max LP WRs (Brown, Smith-Schuster) … JuJu’s +97 (and +69 + heavy long gains)

Oh No!            Only the WRs can go deep, making D calls easier


Oh Yeah!        LE Heyward (5 vs. run w/12 pass rush) … Three LBs w/double-digit sack ratings

Oh No!            Oh-Oh SS Davis (00)

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        KR TD … 30 deep-kickoff chances … Boswell FG good 2-6, 12 from 50-54 yds

Oh No!            Missed XP on 11



Oh Yeah!        Underrated TE Walker (max FP catches and decent at all depths) … LT Lewan (5,6), three 5-rated run blockers, a 7 pass block at RG

Oh No!            Off-the-Marcus Mariota: More INTs than completions LP Right


Oh Yeah!        FS Byard (66), RE Casey (6), both ILB 6s vs. the run

Oh No!            In coverage, SS Cyrpien (0) and nothing better than 4 at four LB positions

Special Teams:

Oh Yeah!        Leg man Kern’s punting (74 long, still 41 yds at #11) with strong coverage

Oh No!            Only 18 deep-kickoff chances … Missed XP on 11